it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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