Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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