we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We don't watch enough power rangers
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
