I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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