Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
