How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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