Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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