I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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