Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
