we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
