Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
