Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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