I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
