How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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