So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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