Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When are your genitals available?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
