When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
