But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
