Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
