Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
