He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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