SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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