he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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