I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
