uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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