i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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