two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
