Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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