I just cut my nipple shaving
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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