Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
