I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
