Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
