Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
