Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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