Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
