Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
