He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
