i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
