i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
