Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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