It's Friday. Sex?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
