So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
