So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
