Pregnant stripper...not hot.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
