I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
