Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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