Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
