lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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