Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
