Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
