I look better un-naked...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
