I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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